I always get asked "What road trip should I go on this season?" Of course this often comes from my teenage son, who insists he can help in the booth and deserves to be on the team flight. Focus on college, kiddo - as well as my retirement plan of you taking a start-up public so I can sit on a yacht in between broadcasting games.
This piece is less about the matchup and more about the place. There are many factors to consider. I'm not a travel agent and your experience may vary based on the company you keep, whether the team wins and was your burger cooked the way you like it or did they misinterpret medium-rare.
Here's my top five.
5) New York Jets, December 10
You'd think this would be higher. It's the Big Apple and there's no shortage of things to do in Manhattan. But here's the thing: NFL teams never stay in Manhattan. They stay in New Jersey because that's where the Jets and Giants play. Yes, it's right across the Hudson River but it never felt right that they play in another state.
And speaking of the Hudson River...do you think Henry Hudson would have settled down in New York if he could see that he has this magnificent river named after him? Instead, he tried to find India by going farther north, through Canada, and got stuck in the ice. His crew got so upset they left him in a small boat and took off back for England. He was never seen again.
Ouch.
Anyway, it's fun to go to New York but a bit of a pain to actually get to the stadium. Make sure your bank account is up to the task because the New York area has a way of draining in quickly.
Obviously Aaron Rodgers and a Robert Saleh-DeMeco Ryans reunion makes this a fun one.
4) Atlanta, October 8
I've never been to the new stadium. Let's see it together! I haven't been to the ATL lately but it's a favorite destination of so many. Plus, everybody knows somebody in Atlanta. Knock out a visit to that long lost friend and take in the Texans-Falcons tilt.
Johnny Harris likes Desmond Ridder. And we both met Arthur Smith at the Combine when he was having lunch with Mike Vrabel and our old buddy (and Texans QB and now-Falcons OC) Dave Ragone. Yes, I'm name dropping. I do this. Are you new here?
3) Baltimore, September 10
Are the crabs really harvested close by? They better be. It would be like going to Boston and having lobster from Alaska. You need the local fare to be local.
Another thought: Johnny and I talked with Thomas Booker, who's from Baltimore but has never seen The Wire. What! He makes a good point that the show is not exactly chamber of commerce propaganda. But, man, that show is one of the top five I've ever seen.
It'll be a beautiful September day as the Texans aim to spoil the return of Lamar Jackson.
Trivia Question – Who's won more playoff games in the last 10 years – Texans or Ravens? Time's up – it's a tie - each franchise has won two.
2) Tennessee, December 17
I'm not putting Indy on the list because I always talk about that city and you know that I enjoy going there even though I sports-hate the Colts like poison. It's not the people who work there. They're great. Like my friend Matt Taylor, who broadcasts the games. It's just that the nemesis is still 33-10 against the Texans.
Oh wait, this is about the Titans. Ok, you stay downtown and hit the Broadway bars to listen to all the different bands. There are so many amazing musicians there. And it seems like every guitarist is playing a Fender Telecaster. The Telly is the great American guitar. I personally love the Gibson ES-335. There will be a quiz on this later.
I just don't understand why they have cover bands in Nashville who play classic rock like Led Zeppelin. I'm MR. Zeppelin and I don't condone this behavior. Stick to country. I don't go to a Sushi place for pancakes.
If you travel to Nashville and don't see at least three bachelorette parties in progress, call the authorities. Something's wrong.
The stadium is right on the edge of downtown and this is a very underrated NFL road trip. Plus the Texans have won three of their last four there!
1) Jacksonville, September 24
Hear me out. In past years I might not have done this. In fact, there's no way. But this season is different. The Texans have traveled to Jacksonville this early only twice in their history. It's light out later so you could play golf on Saturday.
The downtown has some decent restaurants and you can see why Shad Kahn wants to develop it.
(Editor's comment: Then why does he keep playing more and more games in London?)
Don't confuse me with the facts. Just go with it. It's a good place to go and the Jags are the division favorites. We need the Traveling Texans to show up and help quickly re-establish Houston's dominance in this series
